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Hopefully Calvin Harris isn't so mad that he pulls a "puny god" move on Tom Hiddleston, but ... "You can trust me, I'm not a smooth criminal" is how eternal romantic Tim once tried to charm a Michael Jackson fan on an internet dating site. This is just one of the funny and rather touching anecdotes in series three of Channel 4's First Dates, which follows people having glorious and terrible blind dates in a London restaurant.In an exclusive Channel 4 clip from episode one of the new series, pun-tastic Tim talks to date Jenny about how online dating takes so much effort that it's like a "part-time job". Having assumed he'd be the first of his friends to settle down, Tim is actually the last man standing and looking for "the one" in his late thirties.

Whatever happens between the pair romance-wise, at least Tim learnt one valuable lesson about love: Never try to woo a woman with Michael Jackson puns.

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Taylor has not been Loki about her new relationship, with photographs showing her kissing the "Avengers" actor and possibly hooking up with him before she was even done with the last guy.

Because Everything Has Changed, and maybe that's Mean, but it's time for her to Begin Again with a new Love Story, and dating Loki is all of our Wildest Dreams, right?

Yes, that's the kind of groan-inducing blather we must suffer as an Internet family after photos surfaced of Taylor Swift k-i-s-s-i-n-g Tom Hiddleston.

TMZ claims Calvin Harris feels "betrayed," and deleted not just his make-nice tweet from after he and Taylor broke up, but all of his Taylor photos. This is all very high school, but the real story is the reaction from shocked fans/haters/media/bystanders online, starting with this classic headline: Whenever Taylor Swift ends a relationship it leads to breakup jokes, but the addition of Tom Hiddleston, most recently seen as a potential next Bond, has shaken and stirred fans to a greater extent than usual.

I was off POF for a while- but I'm back, updating this profile was overdue!

It didn't take Taylor Swift long to Shake It Off with Calvin Harris.

He should've known she was trouble when she walked in.

She had a Blank Space and gave it to Tom Hiddleston, and now Taylor and Calvin have Bad Blood.

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